Space Between Them
by aimeecat
Summary: AU set after 1.11 'Love Lasts Forever'. Has Mick and Beth's relationship been strained beyond breaking point? Please read and review. MickBeth
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first fanfic - please R&R. Would love to hear what people think of it - be harsh, be critical. Feedback is love !  
Disclaimer: I don't own or have any claim to the characters or story of Moonlight - learning to live with this one day at a time...  
_

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**Space Between Them**

Raising her hand to knock on Mick St John's door, Beth hesitated. It had been nearly three weeks since Josh had died, since she'd seen or spoken to Mick. That night in her apartment, when Mick had tried to explain why he couldn't turn Josh, she had refused to listen. Mick had called her since but she had ignored his calls, and after the first week he had stopped calling. Feeling a flare of guilt for pushing him away, she hoped he would understand she had needed time alone. Scared that Mick wouldn't want to see her, she knocked.

Hearing the knock on his door, Mick ran his hands through his shower damp hair and slipped on a shirt. Josef had said that he would be stopping by tonight but Mick was surprised that he had arrived this early in the evening. Moving to open the door he saw Beth on the security monitor and stopped short.

Mick had never wanted Beth out of his life, but he knew that she would be safer away from him. When she hadn't returned his calls, he'd assumed that she had finally decided he was right, that she was better off without him. He had tried to convince himself that he wanted the distance between them, that he could be satisfied being her secret protector again, unseen in the shadows. Watching her now, Mick realised that there was no denying how much he had missed her.

Beth closed her eyes and silently told herself to get a grip as she felt hot tears sliding down her face. Angrily wiping them away she knocked again. As the minutes passed Beth realised she was wasting her time and turned to go. Watching her Mick had been prepared to let her leave until he saw her tears. He hated seeing her suffer like this, and hated himself for letting her suffer alone. As she started down the hall Mick, cursing himself as a weak-willed fool, opened the door.

Hearing the sound behind her Beth stopped. "Beth?" Turning she saw him framed in the doorway and her pulse quickened. Mick's voice was soft. "Would you like to come in?"

Not trusting herself to speak Beth nodded and let Mick usher her into his apartment. As she walked past he inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, revelling in her scent. The vanilla of her skin blended with the jasmine from her soap intoxicated him, reminding him of sunny days and warm spring nights, and a small smile played across his lips. Hearing Beth taking off her coat and taking a seat on the couch he realised he was still standing by the open door, and closed it quickly. Glancing sheepishly towards her Mick was relieved to see that she was unaware of the effect she had on him. He watched her nervously fiddle with her coat as he crossed the room and sat, legs crossed, in the chair opposite her.

"I hope it's ok that I came see you." Beth began. Mick gave her a small reassuring smile and she continued. "I need to talk to you about what happened…" Voice trailing off she looked at Mick willing him to say something to make this easier.

Letting our out a long, slow breath, Mick locked his eyes on her's "I know you're angry that I wouldn't turn Josh. I know you think that by turning him I could have saved him." Looking away, he said quietly "I know you loved him." Hearing the tightness in his voice Beth realised for the first time just how much that admission hurt him. Leaning forward Mick dropped his gaze to the floor. Slowly shaking his head he said "I couldn't do it Beth."

"I understand, I get why you couldn't…" Mick looked up, surprised, and Beth saw the hope in his eyes that she did understand why he had refused her, that she had forgiven him. Not for the first time she mentally berated herself for punishing Mick for what had happened. "I never should have asked you to turn him. You didn't have the right to make that kind of decision for him." she said. "And neither did I."

Mick gave her a sad half-smile. "I am sorry." Beth nodded her acceptance and they both relaxed, falling into a companionable silence.

Sinking back into his chair Mick considered the woman sitting opposite him. It was hard for him not to smile openly knowing that their relationship, whatever it was, wouldn't be coming to an end. Beth began fiddling with her coat again and Mick frowned, knowing from her expression that he wasn't going to like what she still had to say. A cold fear settled over him that maybe he had assumed too much. Tentatively he asked "Beth, what's wrong?"

Beth took a deep breath and looked away, refusing to meet Mick's eyes, suddenly not sure that she could ask the question that had brought her to his apartment. Eventually she spoke "I want to talk to you about Tejada. Carl told me about… how he died." She paused, summoning the courage to look Mick in the eyes she asked "Did you do it? Did you kill him?"

Taken aback Mick didn't know how to respond. He had never occurred to him that Beth might find out about his visit to Tejada, or what he would tell her if she did. "He's dead. What more do you want?"

Beth was surprised by his curt reply, but unwilling to back down. "I want answers."

"You always do"

Beth was stunned by the bitterness of his words. Before she could think what to say Mick got to his feet and disappeared into the kitchen. Following, she found him leaning on the counter with his back to her. "It was you, wasn't it?" Seeing Mick's knuckles whiten as he gripped the counter top was all the answer she needed. "Why?"

Mick's shoulders slumped and it was some time before he answered, so quietly she almost didn't hear him "Because he hurt you."

"So you killed him?"

"Yes." Mick answered, remembering how he had cornered Tejada, the feel of teeth puncturing skin, the hot rush of blood into his mouth. At the time the vampire in him knew that with someone like Tejada, blood vengeance was the only option. But now, with a very human Beth standing behind him, Mick wasn't so sure.

"You want answers?" Mick asked as he slowly turned to face her. His eyes were the blue-white of glaciers and Beth could see the tips of his fangs when his lips parted. "This is what I am, Beth." He said simply. "I hunted him and I killed him." Mick stepped closer, not taking his eyes off her's. "You would never believe that I'm a monster – now you know just how much of a monster I can be." Mick couldn't decipher Beth's expression, whether it was horror or disgust or something else. Seeing the look on her face he turned his back to her again and said in a strangled voice "Please leave."

The way Mick spoke was the same as when Beth had first seen him as a vampire, when he had believed that she would not be able to accept who and what he was. Hearing that same pain in his voice Beth knew he was shutting her out again and for a moment she couldn't think what to say. Finally Beth managed to stammer "No. I -" before Mick turned to face her again.

"Leave."

The quiet finality of that one word was like a slap to the face. Unable to speak Beth turned away and made her way across the apartment, tears blurring her vision. Walking out Mick's door she was confronted by Josef stepping out of the elevator. Without a word Beth walked passed him as he held the doors open for her.

Joseph watched Beth as the elevator doors slid shut, then turned and walked slowly down the hall. Letting himself in, he found Mick in the kitchen, still slumped against the counter. "So" Joseph said, smirking. "Did I miss playtime?"

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks to everyone who took the time to post reviews - Your feedback means the world to me.  
Disclaimer - I do not own of have any claim to the story or characters of Moonlight _**- **_**still** learning to live with this one day at a time..._

**Space Between Them – Part 2**

___"__So" Joseph said, smirking. "Did I miss playtime?"_

Propped against the counter, Mick replayed what had just happened in his mind - Beth's questions, his reaction, her expression when he told her that he'd killed Tejada. Lost in his thoughts, Mick was unaware of Josef's presence until he spoke. Startled, he snarled in frustration. Growling in response, Josef recognized the pain in his eyes and relented. Holding up his hands in mock surrender Josef said with a sigh "I'll take that as a no."

As his anger ebbed, Mick's features returned to normal. Fangs receding and eyes darkening, he became human-like again. Refusing to meet Josef's eyes, he stepped around him and made his way out of the kitchen. Slumping into the armchair, he stared at the floor.

Picking out two glasses and a bottle of scotch, Josef followed. Pouring them a few fingers each, he sat and eyed his friend, wondering how to proceed. Relaxing into his seat, he sipped his drink and said "I take it our favourite little reporter wanted another round of interview with the vampire?"

Mick glared at Josef and seemed about to speak, but reached for his glass instead. Downing the contents with a grimace, he fell back into the seat and closed his eyes, the glass resting on his thigh, forgotten.

As the minutes passed, Josef began losing patience. "Not that watching you drink yourself silly won't be entertaining in its own way" he began "but it might be nice to have some idea of what I just walked in on."

After their long years of friendship Mick knew Josef's tone masked a genuine concern. Without opening his eyes he said "It was about what happened to Josh."

Nodding, Josef said "She still won't accept why you wouldn't turn him."

"No, it's not that." Mick answered, almost unable to believe what he was saying "That she understands"

Josef couldn't hide his surprise. Mick had told him some of what had happened when Josh had died, and he knew how hurt and angry Beth had been. Confused he asked "So what then?"

"You remember I told you about the man responsible for Josh's death?" Josef nodded. "Beth found out that I killed him."

"She is tenacious" he smirked, then added with a shrug "It's not like she hasn't seen you kill before – the assassin in New York."

Mick shook his head. "This is different. The guy in New York was self defence - this was cold-blooded." Frowning, he said "I murdered him."

Seeing where Mick was heading Josef said "Let's not get too dramatic. You did what you had to do."

"I don't think Beth sees it that way." Mick said softly. "When she said that she understood about Josh I thought we'd be ok, but now..."

Josef cocked his head to one side "Maybe you're underestimating her?"

Mick sighed. "No - I reacted badly when she asked if I had killed him, I know that. But you didn't see the look on her face. It was..." Shaking his head, his voice trailed off. He still couldn't describe Beth's expression when he admitted to what he had done.

Leaning forward Josef set his glass onto the table "So what? You're just going to give up?"

With a humourless laugh Mick said "I would have thought that would make you happy – you've always told me that it can't work between us and humans."

"I know." Josef answered with a small shrug. "But I like Beth."

"You do?"

Seeing the stunned look on Mick's face, Josef tried to suppress a smile. "No matter how ill-advised your relationship is, she's made you happier than I've seen you in a long time." Settling back into the couch he became serious. "She's willing to accept you for what you are."

"Maybe not any more." Mick said sadly. "You know, before all this happened, I was actually going to tell her how I feel. I kept telling her that she should stay away from me, but that's not what I want."

"Maybe when it comes to you and Beth, the universe isn't on your side." Josef said "But either way you need to decide what you're going to do." Sitting back he laced his fingers together and gave Mick a wolfish smile "Whatever you decide, being a vampire, you'll have plenty of time to regret it."

Sitting at his desk the next evening, Mick drank from a large glass of blood. Determined to concentrate on work, in the hope it would distract him from thoughts of Beth, and their disastrous encounter the night before, he grabbed a file and flipped it open. After going over several pages, he realised that he had no idea what he'd just read. With a grunt of disgust he closed the file and tossed it back onto the desk.

As he stared moodily at the file the phone rang. Leaving the machine to pick up, he leant back and closed his eyes. "Mick? It's me... Please pick up." Hearing Beth's voice Mick's eyes flew open. "I need to see you." Leaning forward his hand hovered over the receiver. "Please…" Beth's voice dropped to a whisper "I can't lose you to."

As Beth hung up, Mick was at a loss. He knew that she would be safer without him, but there was no denying how much he wanted to go to her. Still trying to decide what to do, Mick grabbed his coat as he headed out the door.

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry for the wait for chapter 3, it would seem that the universe has not been on _**my **_side. Once again I will plead (beg even?) for your feedback. I really appreciate those that take the time and brighten up my day - thanks guys!  
_

_Disclaimer - I do not own, or have any claim to, the story or characters of Moonlight - continuing to deal with this one day at a time (but I have joined a wonderful 12 step program...)_

**Space Between Them - Part 3**

Rain hammed on the roof of Mick's car as he drove and the bright neon lights were blurred by the water cascading down the windshield. The downpour and the late hour kept the streets empty, giving him the eerie feeling he was alone in the city and he frowned at the thought. For years he had been content in his solitude, but lately he had come to realise how tired he was of being alone. Making the last turn into Beth's street, Mick knew he should keep driving. He had the perfect opportunity to put the distance between them that he had been insisting on for months, but last night something in him had changed. Talking with Josef he had finally admitted how much she meant to him. He hoped that she could forgive him and truly accept him for what he was, but after decades as a vampire he understood only too well that wishing for something didn't make it so.

Parking across the street from her apartment, he opened the car door and stepped out into the rain. Dashing across the street, he ran up the steps of Beth's building. Consumed by his thoughts, he tripped on the top step, and only his lightning-fast reflexes kept him from sprawling on the wet cement. Stumbling into the lobby he shook the worst of the water off his coat. "Very graceful St. John," he muttered to himself, "some creature of the night you are."

Walking down the corridor, Mick's doubts threatened to overwhelm him. He hadn't expected to hear from Beth after their last encounter, so her call tonight had taken him completely by surprise. He knew that she might still reject him, in spite of what she'd said, and he honestly wouldn't blame her. Not only had he admitted to murdering Tejada, he'd virtually thrown her out of his apartment. On the other hand, if she didn't reject him he would have to confront his feelings for her, and Josef was right when he said relationships between humans and vampires never ended well. Arriving at her door he leant close and listened for movement, but only heard the TV quietly murmuring. Running his hands through his wet hair, he knocked.

Curled on her couch in her favourite pyjamas, Beth stared at the TV. The sound was turned down and she stared at the screen blankly. Cradling her phone, she thought about calling Mick again. Glancing at the time she realised it had been less than half an hour since she had left the message on his machine. Sourly she tossed the phone onto the couch, annoyed that she was starting to behave like a love struck teenager. Determined to distract herself she focussed on the TV, and couldn't help but smile when she recognised the movie that was playing.

Hearing the knock on her door, Beth sighed. It was late and she didn't need another well-meaning friend checking to make sure that she was alright. As she walked across the room she tried trying to arrange her features into something that would look tired-but-friendly. Opening the door and finding Mick dripping on the carpet, for a moment she couldn't speak. Collecting herself she stood aside and said simply, "Come in".

Letting her take his coat, Mick walked into the room stopped, staring at the TV. Flustered by his sudden appearance Beth closed the door took her seat on the couch without speaking. As Beth composed herself, Mick recognised the movie he had been able to hear through the door. '_I am nothing, lifeless, soulless, hated and feared. I am the dead to all the world...hear me! I am the monster breathing men would kill. I am Dracula'._

Tensing, Mick hoped Beth would never see him like this, as a soulless thing to be hated and feared. "Research?" he asked quietly, not taking his eyes off the screen.

Confused Beth frowned, then realised what he meant and flicked off the TV. "No" she said and added with a smirk, "I just have a thing for Keanu."

Relaxing a little Mick turned to face her. Happy to change the subject he said, "You look like you're getting ready for bed. I should go so you can get some sleep."

"No, it's fine." Beth said quickly, not wanting him to have an excuse to leave, "I'm glad you came." As she fiddled with the remote Mick waited nervously for her to continue. Finally she said, "I need to say sorry to you, but I'm not sure I understand why."

After his behaviour the night before, Mick had assumed he would be the one apologising. Caught off guard he said, "You have nothing to be sorry for-".

"Yes I do." Beth interrupted, "I don't understand what, but I did something that hurt you." Looking up at him she said, "I just want to know what it was."

Mick considered avoiding her question, but couldn't refuse the silent plea in her eyes. "I didn't want you to know about Tejada" he began, "but it was the look of disgust on your face when I told you what happened." Unable to meet her eyes he looked away. "I know what I am, but seeing myself as a monster in your eyes was more than I could take."

Hearing the anguish in his voice Beth said, "I was disgusted - but with myself, never with you." Looking up at him she hoped he would understand, but Mick's confusion was obvious. "You keep telling me that you're a monster, but you do everything you can not to be. Then, because of me, you get involved in this thing with Josh and end up killing someone…" Beth faltered.

Turning away from her Mick said, "I am what I am. Nothing you can say will change that."

"And nothing you can say, or do, will ever convince me you're a monster." As she stood she realised that nothing she could say would convince him, she would need to let her actions speak for her. "Mick," she said, "let me see your face."

Mick wanted to refuse, frightened that despite her words she would reject him, and more afraid that she might not. Reluctantly turning to face her, he kept his eyes averted as she walked over to him, stopping so close their bodies were almost touching. Kissing him gently on the cheek, she let her lips linger before pulling back. Amazed how much this small act meant to him, he met her eyes and smiled shyly. Reassured, Beth said softly, "Now, let me see your other face".

Mick inhaled sharply. Unable to believe what she was asking, he slowly shook his head.

"You told me once that you trusted me," she said, "trust me now."

As he listened to her heart beating, Mick felt like he had been laid bare. He stood before her, not as the vampire or the protector or the PI, but simply as Mick St John. Trust was not something he gave lightly, but after denying himself human contact for so long he found the possibility she might accept him impossible to resist. Taking a deep breath his let himself change and met her gaze with inhuman eyes.

Placing her hands on either side of his face Beth slowly trailed her fingers over his temples and down his cheeks. As she drew her thumb slowly over his lower lip, she could see his fear and her heart almost broke. Slipping her hand slowly along his jaw line she hooked her fingers around the back of his neck. With the slightest pressure, she brought his face towards hers. Mick faltered, and for a moment she thought that he might refuse her, but his hesitation vanished with the touch of her lips. Closing his eyes he wrapped his arms around her and surrendered to their kiss. Enveloped in the vanilla and jasmine scent of her skin, Mick felt like he was home.

Revelling in their closeness he deepened their kiss, and Beth melted against him. Savouring the sensation of his body moulded against hers she barely noticed his fangs graze her lip, but Mick froze and pulled away. Searching her eyes he found none of the fear or revulsion he expected. Smiling up at him Beth cupped his face with her had and kissed him again. Slipping her tongue between his lips she toyed with his teeth, carefully caressing each sharp point. Mick growled low in his throat in response and Beth's pulse quickened. She wasn't sure the sound was completely human, but there was no doubt that it was wholly masculine.

Breaking away from her Mick's face became human again and his eyes took on their familiar dark hue. Smiling, he pulled Beth against his chest and buried his face in her hair. Feeling the strength in his arms she understood how easily he could hurt her, but caught in his embrace she knew she was safe.

Nuzzling her neck Mick became aware of the blood flowing just below her skin. Without thinking his mouth found her pulse and he groaned at the feel of the blood rushing under his lips with every beat of her heart. Feeling his fangs lengthening he turned his head away, and with difficulty forced himself back under control. Breathing heavily, Mick let go of her and stepped back to put some space between himself and temptation. Taking a deep breath to steady himself he said "It's late - I should go and let you get some rest."

Looking into his dark eyes Beth could see a shadow that hadn't been there before. She wasn't sure what had changed for him so suddenly, but she could guess. Nodding her understanding, she realised just how tired she was and had to stifle a sudden yawn.

Chuckling Mick said, "I should definitely go if I'm boring you."

Beth laughed and said, "I just haven't been sleeping." Slipping her small hand into his she asked, "Stay until I fall sleep?"

Mick knew he should say no, but ever since he had seen her walking barefoot through the fountain, he had been unable to refuse her. Nodding, he let her lead him to the bedroom. Pulling back the covers Beth slid under them and patted the bed next to her for him to join her. Mick switched off the light and, as he sat on the edge of the bed to take off his shoes, she scooted over to give him room. As he lay facing her she wriggled towards him and pressed her back firmly against his chest. He was about to object when she took his arm, and with a sigh of contentment, draped it over her body and pressed his hand over her heart. Wrapped around her warmth, Mick couldn't find the strength to protest.

When her breathing had slowed and he was sure she was asleep, Mick tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and softly kissed her forehead. Careful not to disturb her he got out of the bed and slipped on his shoes. Standing in the dark he smiled as he watched her, wishing there was some way he could stay. Whispering her name, he turned and silently made his way to the door. Grabbing his coat, he hesitated in the doorway, but knowing that until he could control his reaction to her he would have to keep some distance between them, he softly closed the door behind him.

Without opening her eyes Beth listened as Mick got out of bed and whispered her name. Hearing the door close she snuggled into the space where he had been and whispered, "I love you too."


End file.
